Wednesday, 12 September 2012

I'm feeling all out of sync with this blog

I keep meening to blog in the first thing but because I've slipped to doing it in the afternoon so nothing new has happened when I come to try and do it in the following morning. (does this make sense?) Anyway, today I thought I'd keep it short so I'll have something to say when I try early tomorrow. It seems that time management is taking center stage in my creative life and I'm not sure I like it. I like to think of myself as a Willow The Wisp, a creative bohemian who is above such things, but of course that's bollocks. I know this because if I call myself a bohemian in front of Grisel she rolls her eyes in resignation and faint disapproval. She's the best bullshit detector I've ever had. Anyway I've been exploring the more macho/engineering/tinkering side of myself today by trying to get going the old laptop that I inherited from my Dad. This means I can take it into town when I work in Covent Garden, and during my downtime be a bohemian in Cafe Nero away from the watchful eye of my fiance.

I did want to briefly come back to the subject of phobias. As part of my research I have found that there is literally nothing that the human mind cannot think itself into being scared of. It really brings home to me that the enemy can often be too much thinking. I guess fear in most cases is irrational. Maybe it's because we have it so good in the modern world that we insist on using our 'fight or flight' responses at wholly inappropriate times. I confess I am not immune to this. I was discussing with my counsellor today my deep seated fear of being wrong. This phobia is as irrational as any of them.

Anyway, during my research I discovered quite a comprehensive list of recognised phobias that are dealt with by mental health professionals. The list is truly bizarre in places and only seeks to underline my above point. (Phew, that means I'm right on this one, fight or flight averted.). Yes fear is a truly irrational thing, and I couldn't help but laugh a little as I read about: Anthrophobia - the fear of flowers; Chronomentrophobia - the fear of clocks; or even Octophobia - the fear of the figure 8 (that one sounds particularly devastating if you're a figure skater). I began to ask myself why we find this funny. I suppose we can all identify with fear and can laugh at it in others. We do however seem to forget how extreme these reactions can be. As I read case histories of people who can't leave the house, hold down a job or have any meaningful social interactions it starts to become no laughing matter. There was one phobia that stood out above the rest and it seems to illustrate this. Phobophobia - the fear of phobias. Yes, some people have an acute fear of fear itself. It must truly be debilitating, and I really admire anyone who's faced up to that one.

Mike Raffone is the co founder of the production company howhow along with his fiancĂ© Grisel Tarifa. They hope to open a new performance club The Royal National Theatre of Fools in Peckham in the winter.  It will be dedicated to the clown, the absurd and the eccentric. Mike is also busy writing his one man show, Clowns, Coulrophobia and Me for the 2013 Edinburgh Fringe. Go to www.howhow.co.uk for more info.

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